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Sincerely, Ivan

from It's About Time by Karl Hepler

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about

After listening to a story on Radiolab entitled "Dear Hector" (www.radiolab.org/story/317629-dear-hector/), I couldn't stop thinking about it. It's such an emotionally complex story. I can't say that I feel bad for Ivan, because what he did was truly wrong, but the strange relationship that developed helped me see Hector's mercy towards him. It's nearly impossible to know what to feel after hearing this story.

I've been wanted to write a murder ballad, and this is it. Some lines in the song are nearly direct quotes from this emotionally-haunting true story.

lyrics

Sincerely, Ivan

Another petty theft
but she came home and I was trapped
Bound and tied, for me she cried
I left, got high, and then came back

She said sir you’ve been so nice
Last time you came I felt no fear
but I won’t give you what you want
so strike me dead or leave me here

Between the air of breath
one steely blow and she was down
I took it all, what I craved
then woke to find that I had drowned

Not for want of money
not ‘cause she saw me
not control nor power
I was high and I couldn’t see

I don’t know why I did it
I had no motives pure
Now I’ll be rotting out my days
for what I did to her

Forsaken by my mother
Alone since I was two
She beat me daily yelling
I’m glad I got rid of you

At eleven in the summer
my mother took us out
she planned our ending in the water
I watched my sister drown

I grew up with God’s forgiveness
A glowing light through all the pain
but the light of red got in my head
and the drugs took control of me

I seek no ease nor comfort
I pray for hell in rest
Yes sir, I killed your daughter
no reason I can attest

I know that God forgave me
and I know that you have too
but I’d rather die than forgive myself
for what I put you through

For ten years we’ve been writing
and every day I’ve cried
She lived to make the world better
You said we should try

So I’m writing you this letter
I don’t know what else to say
I’m the man who took your daughter's life
and you love me anyway

credits

from It's About Time, released April 29, 2014

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Karl Hepler Georgia

A consummate performer and stellar multi-instrumentalist, Karl’s singular presence on stage is surprisingly engaging and always entertaining. He is truly a class act who breaks every expectation of a typical solo acoustic singer-songwriter. Between original works and his own take on existing songs, his style blurs genres, ultimately focused on the traditional mountain music of Appalachia. ... more

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